Mitchell Backs Up Clemens Accusation

Senator George Mitchell, a week after releasing his report on steroid use in baseball, has finally corroborated his findings on pitcher Roger Clemens. Clemens was undoubtably the most shocking name in the report, as he was accused of doing a number of performance enhancing drugs, including Winstrol and HGH.

Clemens has recently fired back however, claiming that the accusations were unfounded and based solely on the accounts of trainer Brian McNamee, who was giving out false information so as to avoid prison time.

Pressured to prove his findings, Senator Mitchell released an addendum to his report that reads:

According to Jeffrey “Sully” Sullivan of Brookline Massachusetts, everything that Brian McNamee said is true and there is perhaps evidence of even more steroid abuse. Mr. Sullivan said that Clemen’s drug-use since leaving the Boston Red Sox in 1997 has been epic and still continues today.

When tracked down for comment, Mr Sullivan said “Well of course Clemens is a freakin cheat[er]. How old is he, like 50? Soon as he left us, he started hittin the juice wicked hard.”


Sully is pointing the finger at Roger Clemens for substance abuse.

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